Absolutes are for Winners

7.12.08

The danger with using absolute statements is that sooner or later you are going to box yourself in by your own (probably spontaneous) outbursts. If you, like me, are prone to random acts of jumping, squirming, running, eating, screaming, wandering and cussing, every few bits you see something that warrants a 'best', a 'greatest', a 'loudest'. Every now and again, you just need a really good 'evaaar' to really nail it home. If any of you reading this have known me for longer than say, 3 minutes, then you know how comforting it is to have me along with you at all times of the day - Why, thank you Matt, this probably is the most delicious meal I have ever prepared. You know, now that you mention it, this IS the nicest drive Ive taken between my house and Piggly Wiggly. Well actually, I was thinking of giving it away, but damn, you're right - the 87 Nissan Sentra is the best thing thats ever come out of Japan. Yes, I do love waffles - Big time.

Now obviously, I must keep a cache of retractions handy for every now and again, like that time "the hottest girl I had ever seen" walked past, followed soon thereafter by the CofC women's volleyball squad - (actually, that one hasn't bothered me too much) Seriously though, I had bigger fish to fry at that moment. (Best. mistake. EVER.) Here in Togo, where something like a hot dog, or, hell, a hot shower, is enough to amaze, I understand that the scale has been a bit skewed for me. I know that Im not actually going to jump on the next sharp object I find if I have to eat one more yam. I know that Im not quite as scary as the screams of the enfants who see the giant white devil (we call that a 'yovo' in these here parts) would lead you to believe. I am pretty sure that if I threw something down the latrine, something would probably knock on my door in the middle of the night and try to give it back to me. (That could vie for the coolest thing ever, just to let you know.) So, here in Togo, amidst all this relativity, Im going to do as the guy at an internet cafe told me when I asked if the connection worked 'bien' ('c'est togo-bien, monsieur') and try and keep my absolutes relative -

The 4 hours of biking today over the Nyogbo-Kpalime dirt road that falls somewhere between this- and this -

was the most exhausting thing I have ever done (in Togo). The lunch I had was the most amazing thing I have ever eaten in my life (in Togo). The Shower I had after getting home was the most amazing cold-water-outdoor-bucket-shower I have ever had the incalculable pleasure of taking (in Togo). The yams I had for dinner didn't turn me suicidal (yet). Today was one of the most satisfying days I have ever had (in Togo). The banana split I had after lunch was singularly the best banana split I have ever had in my whole frigging life (EVER).




Bokabalo, mes amis--